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I am writing this blog from Hawaiian Airlines going from Seattle to Maui. I will meet up with my wife of 35 years, Susan, in Maui. She is flying in from Tampa. We are here for the next 2 weeks celebrating our anniversary. Such is the travel life in consulting. So, how after 26 years of the consulting lifestyle did I maintain and grow my relationship with my true love? Well, this blog is going to expose my secret. Let me take you back in time. All through my professional career, before I entered consulting and since then, I was always someone that took my work very seriously and placed a great deal of focus and energy into it. Early on before consulting and before my responsibilities grew significantly, it was easy to balance my personal and professional life. Both were being attended to and growing nicely. I then entered the consulting business (backed into it, but that could be another blog), and the demands on my professional career and the associated travel started to shift the equilibrium. Then I joined Microsoft and the scale started to seriously list. I am sure you have all been there. You try to burn both ends and cut yourself, your rest and downtime short. But alas, it is a slow draining exercise. I will always remember the inflection point. We were on a family vacation in Florida. It was just the four of us, my wife and our two young children. Everyone was having a good time, and I was focused as best I could on fun and family. But there was that important conference call, and the month-end just happened and I wanted to see the results and the year-to-date. There was also that hot recruiting candidate that if I did not interview immediately, we might lose, and I had to at least browse my email if for no other reason than to make sure that I was not overwhelmed when I returned. Finally, I would never go on vacation for more than 1 week because the catch-up upon return was simply a killer. Some years I did not take all of my vacation; too much to do, you know. When you do this dance year after year, a decline is predictable. It happens slowly so you do not notice how tired, worn and impatient you can become. But, my wife saw it. Well, we were at this Florida resort and my family of three was in the pool and I was pool-side reading my email. I was at least outside now; before I was in the hotel room on a call. Susan came over and looked at me with a very serious look and said in a straight-forward manner, "if you do not put that PC away then I am going to grab it and throw it in the pool". Oh boy; she was serious. So, I did put it away and focused on the family and my wife the rest of the week. The next year she insisted that we go on a 2 week vacation and without my companion PC. I did not agree immediately, but eventually we booked at trip outside the U.S. to a remote location It was culture shock, to not have my PC, no email, no cell-phone, limited newspapers, and limited contact to the rest of the world. It took 3 days of withdrawal. Well, it was a fantastic vacation, and you guessed it; I came back 100% refreshed. I put all my energies during that vacation on experiences with my family and forgot about work that would be waiting for me when I got back. And about the backlog of 2 weeks work when I got back? Simple! I learned the technique of delegation. I transferred my responsibilities to someone else. It was a great experience for them as they are advancing their career and it was best for me to get away. Delegation is a key part of leadership.

So, I have been using this same technique now for the last 15 years. For me it works. You may want to try it sometime. Take all of your earned vacation time, and bundle it into a chunk that would allow you to disengage and unwind, and please leave your PC at home. Hence, I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks with access to email and cell-phones, but no desire to use them. I will reconnect when I return; I know the company is in great hands. Aloha